Love Liberates: Powerful Lessons for the American School System
For many years, teachers in the American school system have sought respect through control. They’ve wanted to control what students do, when and how they speak, where they go, when they go… But a recent pod with guest and long-time friend Jonah Craggett shone some much-needed light on how this traditional formula needs to change.
This part of the conversation began with a simple quote that Jonah heard years ago, as he was just beginning his teaching career. It was from Maya Angelou and included just two words: Love liberates.
The idea behind this quote is that when people – including kiddos – feel loved unconditionally, it frees them up to be able to give their best selves to the world. This includes in the classroom, when it comes to their education.
For years, teachers have been trained to lead with a firm hand. They focus on quiet, discipline, and obedience in their classrooms.
But we’re going to talk about a different approach. Based on my conversation with Jonah Craggett in the pod, we’re going to look at several ways that teachers can lead with love in their dealings with students and how this approach really does liberate.
4 Ways That Love Can Liberate Within the American School System
1. Go Beyond Textbook Lessons
We have the opportunity to teach lessons that are going to stick with our kiddos long after they leaves our classrooms. These lessons aren’t in any textbook. Rather, they are lessons that teach our kiddos empathy, grace, compassion, and kindness.
But these lessons can’t happen if we settle all of our classroom issues with blanket statements to be quiet or focus on the lesson.
Let’s take an example that we touched on in the podcast with Jonah Craggett.
One student says something hurtful to another student.
Instead of glossing over the comment or just rebuking the student, Jonah asks the one who was hurt, “Did that hurt your feelings?”
Now, much of the time, the student initially shrugs it off, saying halfheartedly, “Nah, he didn’t hurt my feelings.”
But Jonah likes to press a little bit more, urging, “I think it did. And it’s okay if it did. Did it hurt your feelings?”
Nine times out of ten, by giving the student the permission to expressing himself, the student opens up and admits, “Yeah.”
Jonah would then encourage him to tell the other student that it hurt his feelings.
This is a powerful way to help both of these students to learn a vital lesson. For the one on the receiving end, he knows that it’s okay to speak up for himself and say “that’s not okay.” But it also helps the one who said the hurtful thing to realize just how his words impact others.
Lessons like this can help our students to grow, not just in their knowledge of math or science, but as people. And the classroom is full of opportunities where we can teach these lessons, if we only take the time to do it.
2. Have Actual Conversations with Your Kiddos
This is so simple, but I feel like this is at the root of a lot of issues in the classroom.
Remember, kids are people too. They don’t just want to be spoken to. They want an interchange – to express themselves and feel that they are truly being heard and respected.
As people, we all expect to be respected. So is it any surprise that kids expect the same?
Take the time to ask them questions and truly listen to their answers, perhaps asking follow-up questions. This shows them that you really want to understand where they’re coming from.
Oftentimes, when we take this approach students are more likely to reciprocate and show us the respect we need as educators. And it leads to a more meaningful form of respect, since they’re giving it willingly.
3. Give Them Examples
Students need teachers to serve as examples and role models. This isn’t just about having teachers with solid morals – although that is important. It’s about having teachers with a variety of backgrounds and even skin tones who are also good examples for students to look up to.
Consider for a moment that only 10% of teachers throughout America are minorities -- black, Hispanic, and Asian American.
Another shocking statistic is that only 2% of all teachers are black men – a statistic that I continue to draw attention to on my podcast.
Don’t get me wrong, there are black men in our school systems. But oftentimes they serve in disciplinary roles, as resource officers, behavioral management officers, PE teachers, and other roles that are there to enforce rules, keep order, and deliver punishment. There is a serious lack of black men educators who teach core classes – language arts, math, science, history.
Why is this important?
Because in our role as educators, we as black men have the opportunity to show the kiddos another side that is different from the common roles we mentioned above. This is especially true for black and brown students who are looking for positive role models who look like them, but who are also gentle and communicative. They can look up to us, not because we demand respect, but because we earn it through empathy, love, and patience.
This is also important for other non-minority kiddos in the classroom. Seeing more black male teachers that they respect is vital to how they view the world. It helps them to see that we have nerdy interests just like they do and are regular people.
4. Prepare the Kiddos for the Actual Real World
Some teachers insist on an old-school, rigid teaching structure. They want silent hallways, silent lunch rooms, undivided attention, and unconditional obedience.
Why?
Many will say, “Because this is preparing them for the real world.”
But does it really?
Because that has never been my “real world” experience. In this real world, I feel comfortable having conversations with my colleagues and mentors. I share my opinion and listen to others’ opinions.
So, instead of strict rules and silence, I would challenge that leading with empathy and grace is what truly prepares these kiddos for the real world. They need to know that the real world is full of give and take. There will be moments when they have to be quiet – but there will also be moments when they can relax and be themselves.
We need to create that same balance in our classrooms. The more we do this, the more we prepare our kiddos for life beyond their K-12 education.
Concluding Thoughts on These Lessons for the American School System
If there’s one point that I want you to take away from this discussion, it’s that love really does liberate.
Translation: When we treat our students with love instead of rigid discipline and rules, it can help to eliminate many common problems and even diffuse tense situations.
We’ve just covered a few situations within the American school system where we can apply this, but there are still many more – and I challenge you to think of situations in your own classroom where this would help.
If you would like to listen to my full conversation with Jonah Craggett, I invite you to check out our Chronicles of Mister podcast. You can find it on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
